Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I had a really good talk with my friend the other night about my overall shitty feeling. I can’t say I felt tons better but I was able to work some ideas out in my head.
Then today, when I was picking ToddlerJi up from my mothers she and I talked about it a bit and it wasn’t bad.
THEN my father!!
WELL!!! According to my dad I am pathetic, sad and just plain selfish. He was disgusted with everything I wrote, didn’t have a single nice or positive thing to say and more or less kicked me out of the house.
I didn’t cry or anything. I just stood there in basic shock that my own father, someone I thought I could talk to was saying all this crap to me.
So I went downstairs and sat there for over an hour trying to work out my situation and figure out how I can move physically and mentally from where I am now.
Nothing is totally decided yet.
Oh and dearest Ron, I am not in any way so stupid as to idolize Japan in any way. I am quite aware that Japan is far from a perfect country, hell I am the one who lived there, not you; just as I am aware Canada isn’t perfect either. It wouldn’t matter what country I had been living in for six years, I would want to go back there because I am not happy here.
I have gone past crying now: now I am angry and frustrated and Li is pissed off at me for being angry.
Great. Life is truly great.
On a positive note: ToddlerJi knew that she had to go ‘poopoo’ and wanted to sit on the toilet. Nothing happened so I took her off and she went in her diaper. BUT the point is she knew! One huge step in the process towards potty training.