Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Ramblings at work
Lady at work asked me:
- You had a long holiday. Did it go slowly?
I looked at her and went, ‘No, fast.’
I used some of my paid holidays to extend my winter vacation and I used the entire time to play with my daughter, and blog (of course). I enjoyed every minute of it.
Ji and I have not had that real time together since the first month she was born. I started working when she was only 6 weeks old, so have had little time to be a house mommy. I loved it. I actually almost cried when I left for work in the morning.
Yesterday Li had a holiday and had Ji all day, I hope he used his time with her wisely and did not play too much of his stupid video game. He says they played a lot.
Ji is changing so fast now that even in the two weeks that I had her all to myself I noticed soooo many developmental changes in her. Everything from her walking ability getting better and stronger, to her babbling sounding like real sentences. She even pauses and looks to you for replies.
She started bringing me a book every day and asking me to read it to her. She would stand beside my knee and help me turn the pages; she would use my finger to point at things and look to me. It constantly amazes me how intelligent she is, although I have nothing to compare it too so am only guessing that she is a genius.
Mind you, every parent out there believes that his or her child is the next Einstein.
I will admit that I am one of them.
When I brought her to day care this morning the lady couldn’t stop saying how big and heavy she had become in such a short time. The kid is sprouting. You can almost see her growing.
Li grew up with a dad that sat on the sidelines and never had any siblings. He has many cousins but I don’t think he really understands how fast Ji is changing. He frustrates me to no end at times when I think he is not spending enough time with her, but he thinks he is doing just fine. I get very impatient with him at times when he complains that he wants to spend time with his friends instead of playing that day with Ji. I know cultural differences have a lot to do with it; basic upbringing has even more of an effect. I loose it sometimes and then regret it later because Li and I start fighting.
I know he enjoys Ji and loves being with her; I just wish he could see how fast she is changing and want to be more a part of it.
Usually if I bring it up he interprets it more as me being bitchy so blocks me out quite well.
I am not saying he doesn’t put in an effort, because he does.
He has offered to give up his sleep after doing an all night at the new restaurant to look after her two days a week. It is saving us 200$ a month as well. He does play with her a lot, and if I compare him to dads in my neighbourhood he is an amazing father. Thing is I dint compare him to them, I compare him to my family and upbringing and I want more.
I need to relax about it, I know. Li has learned a lot and is already ten times a better father than his own dad was to him (a very hands off man).
When I got home last night Ji was standing beside her daddy watching a funny movie in Chinese. She didn’t even notice I was home right away. (sniff) When I called her name she came over and gave me a big hug. She was fine, slept well and ate well all day so I should stop worrying about it.
I think Li will begin to realize more and change that much more after we move when he sees the huge difference in the way fathers are expected and DO act in Canada.
I will be patient, I will not bitch, I will wait.
In the mean time I am following up on a million different tips and ideas for shipping stuff back home. I have a HUGE resource of amazing woman now (thank you Medea) and they have given me so much in regards to shipping. I have been sending out so many emails and requests. I should have things figured out soon, I hope.
I have decided that after I start to figure this all out I am going to add a section to my links list of ‘Andrea’s Living in Japan Tips and Useful Information.’ Gotta help out my fellow expats.
Cultural Notes ,
Japan Rants and Info