Sunday, July 10, 2005

So much to say,

First and foremost I did the most awful thing last night.
I was sitting on the sofa with JiXiang, Li was in the shower. I had my hand on her but turned for TWO SECONDS to do something that I can not even bloody remember anymore. She slipped out from under my hand and fell.
YES!! JiXiang fell off the sofa last night.
I turned in time to watch her fall.
It was the worst half second, and the longest, of my life. I have never felt so useless.
She hit the floor with a thud and the total shocked look on her face turned into a raging scream.
The horror on my face dissolved into instant gratification when she cried.
SHE IS ALIVE!
I instantly scooped her up and hugged her tight. I must have apologized every second. Her scream was so loud Li stepped out of the shower (dripping water everywhere)
-What the hell happened?
-It is ok. She hit her head.
Not a lie. I told him after his shower that she fell off the couch. Here I am snapping at him to be careful and I am the one that let her fall. He was not impressed with me.
I wouldn't let her go for the next half hour. I studied her face and eyes closely for any signs of concussion. My brother has suffered so many I know what to look for.
Her eyes were clear and focused. Her screams had lasted only a few seconds. They then turned into thumb sucking whining with the occasional burst of crying. This crying was not screaming but the pissed off at mom, sounds like she is talking and crying at the same time type of cry. At one point she even leaned back from my shoulder and cried in my face, then promptly hit me.
I deserved it.
She had a bath and was normal. She ate TONS and didn't puke. She was trying to fall asleep in her daddy's arms but she kept waking up and crying so I gave her a tiny bit of baby Tylenol for the headache that I am sure she had.
It worked.
She slept for all of three minutes and then decided to practice crawling in bed again. Grr. She has been doing this lately.
I put her on the floor where we could watch her and let her play her self to exhaustion. There was a little neighbourhood festival having fireworks, so she and I watched that for a while. She was fascinated by them.
She slept fine and woke up this morning totally normal.
She even took her first REAL crawl step this morning. OHHHHH!!! No sliding.

She hit her head last night but she is fine.

Yesterday evening, long before she fell, Li's mom called. She tried to talk to JiXiang. Li held up the phone to her ear and his mother started yapping away. JiXiang was fascinated by this and at one point tried to hold the phone with her own hands. She never talked back but was desperately trying to understand where grandma's voice was coming from.

Our roles as parents has already divided.
I am the feeder and the comforter. We play quite a bit but JiXiang plays hardest with her daddy. Li is also the best at getting her to fall asleep.
The other day he scared her slightly while playing airplane. I chastised him as he didn't comfort her. He really cant.
This led into a major discussion on hugging and playing.
Li was never hugged as a child. He actually can not recall the last time he was hugged by either parent. His mom hadn't seen him in a few years, she steps off the plane, and no hug.
This led into a major eye raising and often squinting conversation by me demanding him to learn how to hug his daughter and to comfort her.
Li was going on about how he turned out fine and how it makes people strong.
Bull!!
Inner strength is not created by ignoring pain. Sometimes people really need to be hugged, children especially.
This conversation then moved on to playing.
Li's parents never played with him. He said that most Chinese parents are this way. Some play but most dont.
I personally found this a very difficult thing to understand and fathom. As children we ALWAYS played with our parents. Dad was the sports and hard core playing; mom was the arts and exploring playing. Li never had this.
His mother used to bring him to the zoo EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY. He now hates the zoo.
His father played Chinese chess with him one summer for a month when he was about 12. Well these sorts of games are where Li excels, and after a month of playing he was beating his father. His father stopped playing with him.
He enjoys playing with JiXiang and plays often. I have told him how it is done back home - the playing soccer on the lawn, baseball practice and drawing together. He never says anything negative. I think he might be looking forward to it.
I just have to get him to learn how to hug more.
Return Home

Posted by (Top)Andrea::7/10/2005 :: 2 Comments:

Post/Read Comments

---------------------------------------