Monday, May 09, 2005



Last night I had my three ladies and was a tad stumped by the one ladies stories.
First she started her talking with the fact that she was all sad because now her family registry was only two people.
HUH!!! This made my eyes curl and my mouth go all contorted with a huge question mark on the top of my head. I had no idea what she was talking about.
I guess in Japan you have a family registry. This paper has mom, dad and kids all written on it. BUT every time a child gets married they are removed from the registry and in a sense removed from the family. This cleared up my confusion as to why the empresses daughter lost her princess status when she got married. I mentioned to them that in England, there for Canada, and probably most of the European countries, you remain a part of the family. That is why Princess Anne is still Princess even though she has married commoners - twice.
I could not tell them how families are registered in Canada because I honestly dont know. I told them that it might have something to do with taxes but that I knew for sure that a man and a woman living together for over a year were considered common-law in the tax bracket area and were then in a sense considered a family. Here in Japan they are not.

Does anyone know how families are registered in North America?

Now the reason her family has been down graded to two was that her last daughter has gotten married. Married to an Italian. Very cool. Mrs. Kitano asks Li and I tons of questions having to do with international marriages and raising mixed nationality babies as she has been all worried about her daughter and her future grandchildren. Due to talks with us her worries are now almost zero and she is all excited about her future grandchildren's opportunities.
Now her daughter got married here in Japan. They only did the city paper, just like Li and I, and never had a Japanese wedding ceremony. They are planning a huge ceremony in Italy, Italian style.
Now my Monday night ladies are all very devoted elementary school teachers. Last night Mrs. Kitano said she was actually considering not going to the wedding because it was at the same time as her schools sports day.
WHO CARES!!!
All of us thought she was quite crazy. GO!!!!!
And, I said to her, she should go mostly to meet your Italian family.
-What do you mean, my family?
-Your daughter is marrying into a culture that takes the word family very seriously. You will now be able to travel anywhere in Italy and never have to pay for a hotel because you are family.
-WHAT!
This led into a whole talk on family trees and how Europeans, and basically North Americans, view the bonds of family. They were all surprised by this. I told them that my grandmother sends money to her husbands sisters children and she has never even met them. They are family and they need help. In my mothers family it branches because my great-grandfathers first wife died and he married a Scottish woman the second time round. Our family tree goes all over but we all consider ourselves family.
My sister traveled through Germany and stayed with family members that my own father had never even met yet.
Most Japanese people have no idea who their grandfathers father was. They have no record of this. I mentioned that I could as most Christian families have the family bible and in there is the family tree. We have the bible in Germany and it goes back very far. My father has a picture of it some where. I have unfortunately never seen it.
Mrs. Kitano was so shocked by this.
-My heart feels so warm. I never knew.
GO TO THE DAMN WEDDING WOMAN!!!!
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Posted by (Top)Andrea::5/09/2005 :: 0 Comments:

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