Wednesday, March 16, 2005



AUGH!!
I just deleted a page and a half of writing!! I am going to attempt to write it again as I need to mentally.
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First I forgot my breast pump this morning. Very stupid. Thank GOD I am only working a half day today, as I have to go with JiXiang to Shizuoka to do her Japanese visa. UGH!

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Second! Thanks for the offer this morning mom. I really appreciate the thought
I really do. You know my thinking on the subject but I really appreciate that you are trying and thinking of us.
Email me ok!

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Got home last night to an awake and passive baby. Judging from her puffy red eyes and red cheeks Grandma had had a long day. She didn’t admit that though. She later told Li that Ji had slept very little during the day. To my bonus Ji went to sleep at 11 last night and slept a whole 5 hours. I was very happy about this. Grandma slept longer then usual this morning. Hehe. Two full days with Ji and she was a little tired.
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This is the major part where I need to blow off steam.

Li and I had a fight last night and we still were not talking this morning.
Basically it is Li I am pissed at, not his mother. She is involved but I just expect more from him.
Li’s mom talks NON STOP! And she doesn’t let me talk at all. I have not had a decent conversation with Li since she came. Every time I start to talk to Li she jumps in and Li turns to her to continue her conversation. I don’t mean after five sentences, but after 5 words. It is extremely frustrating. I will wait for a break in their conversation to talk to Li but, wammy, grandma jumps in. When she first came Li would ask her to wait and he would continue talking to me. Now nothing. I realize that having to translate all the time is tiring but I have been totally excluded from any conversation at home. I am a Leo and we don’t like being ignored. It is more frustrating when Li translates everything I say to his mom but translates almost nothing for me. AND to top it off I am constantly hearing the word Canada and JiXiang and have no clue what they are talking about.
Well last night started normal and fine. I have basically shrunk into my little shell and haven’t bothered trying to talk to Li much anymore. He came home and did his normal kiss on the cheek and hello to me then went off to talk to his mom. During dinner he actually included me in the one conversation as it is something we have both been bitching about together. (Involving our Chinese friends being lazy when we are trying to help them find a better job.) Not a huge involvement but I was able to say a bit and Li was able to talk back a bit. When he first started the conversation I didn’t even know he was talking to me that is how rare it has gotten.
Well he and his mom were off talking non-stop again and I disappeared into my world, a little. I will admit that I was starting to get pissy again as I was feeling left out. I enjoyed out short conversation earlier and felt a tad abandoned. Li called my name to clarify something for his conversation with his mom and I replied with a snarky what. This raised Li’s hackles and our little fight started. I pointed out that it was only the second time he had spoken to me that evening. He said NOT. I said ok, the third. I then proceeded to point out that he never talks to me. I never mentioned that his mother cuts me off all the time. I never complained about her, just him. He got all pissy and says that he has to talk to his mom. I said fine, I understand but why is it that you translate everything to your mom but nothing to me. You two are sitting there laughing away and I have no clue what is going on. He yells, why don’t you learn Chinese? BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO! (too damn hard. If I could take a magic learning pill I would but I have no desire to study it.) He then goes, I told you not to complain. I am not complaining Li! I have been damn good and have not complained once to you yet. Your mother on the other hand has complained non-stop about me. She has called me fat almost every day (will get to this later) and is constantly complaining about my food! Of all the things why would you translate this shit? He says to help you. HELP ME!! How does that shit help me? It doesn’t help me! It is F*****G rude!!!!
Conversation stopped there and we have not spoken to each other since.
Surprisingly grandma said not a single peep the whole time and didn’t speak again until I went into the shower.

So yes. I am fat! Or so my mother-in-law says almost every day. She had not even been in our house for an hour when she first arrived when she said that I had lots of meat on me. Yes, ‘meat’ was the word Li used for his translation. I bit my cheek and smiled sweetly. Since then she has been telling Li almost every day that I am too heavy. I guess that fact that I gave birth to a 7-pound baby not even two bloody months ago hasn’t entered her brain. She also is complaining non-stop about the little bit of chocolate that I eat. I say little, as that is what it is. I am not snarfing down a chocolate bar every day. Hell they don’t sell chocolate bars here like they do at home and if I did I would be puking all the time as I cannot handle that much chocolate. I eat a couple of bit sized ones. She also complains about my drinking. I drink mostly water and CC Lemon ( a lovely vitamin c drink that has almost no carbonate.). She seems to think I should be drinking a hell of a lot more tea. I don’t drink that much tea as it makes me pee like a racehorse. Li actually defended me a tiny bit on the liquids. Then there is the popcorn. I have some popcorn for a snack sometimes. Now I might add that I am breastfeeding and any one who has ever breast-fed knows that it makes you sooooooo hungry and a bit tired. My friend Jean thinks that the price of breast feeding and the price of formula is probably the same due to the amount of food she consumes when she breastfeeds. Now grandma wouldn’t know this, as she never breastfed. When Li translated this shit I told him to tell his mother that the peanuts she scarfs down every day contains more fat and oils then my barely buttered non salt popcorn. I think he told her as she has stopped eating peanuts. Hehe. I even read out a section in the baby book that says - dieting and excess exercise causes low milk production if you are breast-feeding. I know he translated it to her.

I personally don’t think I am fat and am very thrilled with the weight I am now. I could tone a bit but that will come in time. The muscles still feel weak and the books say they will be for many more months. Hell! I can fit into all my clothes and my work uniform so piss off I say.
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Posted by (Top)Andrea::3/16/2005 :: 0 Comments:

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