Sunday, April 04, 2004



I miss Li so much.
He has only been gone two nights but I am going crazy. He hasn’t called yet and I think I am going to kill him. Today was the funeral and I realized that I don’t know how to get a hold of him. This made me feel more helpless and stupid. I just need to talk to him so bad. When I talked to him on Friday he said he might be gone for three weeks as it turns out his plan ticket was a three-week open ticket. I know it is only three weeks but I miss him. I barely see my husband as it is due to his new job but I talk to him every night on the phone. Well now it is nothing and I miss him. I am a little lonely I admit.
I went to a BBQ today. It was Taka’s brother’s BBQ (Hero). He holds one evey year now. A Cherry blossom BBQ. He said he is thinking of having one in June this year. It is nice because he provides EVERYTHING we just pay a one-price deal for all you can eat and drink. We make use of it. Then we sit around for hours talking and BSing and basically enjoying ourselves. I got to see Hero’s little girl today. She loves her Uncle Taka. Sooo cute. I talked lots of Japanese and actually enjoyed myself.
The new girl, Abby, kind of pulls a few heartstrings though. She is 23, preppy and care free and reminds me sooo much of Alisha. She brought a friend today named Alisa, she was SOOOO NOT my sister. When I listen to Abby talking about life and love and how she wants to be loved all I can think of is Alisha. I am actually trying to hold myself back and have to remind myself that she is not her. I can give her advice but she is not my sister. She is a new friend and don’t fuck it up.
Li has become a bit of a constant in my life and he seems to keep my emotions at bay. I know it is too much to ask of him and I think he realizes it slightly but when he is not here I have no control of my emotions. I am crying now. Why? I don’t know, I just am.
…..
Li just called. Thank god! But I am supposed to call him back and the number he gave me is not working!!! AUGH!!!
K! He called back, forgot a 6!! Got through and no problems. I feel better already. Sad! He has been having fun shopping and has been enjoying himself, so that is good.
DAMN I stink like a BBQ. Have got to get out of these clothes and have a shower. EEKK!! I stink.
I did have a good time tonight, even though it rained. I took pictures. I will try to get them developed tomorrow. Then on the web they go. I was going to do some more pictures for you today but no time – sorry. Maybe tomorrow night.
Talk later.
I am ok. Don’t worry. Bye.

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